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Often the individual with BPD threatens self-harm or cuts to release tension.She will relentlessly reach out and obsessively try to reestablish the broken bond if the healthy mate decides to break up with her.Remember you cannot make somebody happy – happiness is an inside job! My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD.This contributes to the feeling of being emotionally drained in a partnership. The good news is that once in our thirties our energy level decreases naturally and hence even individuals with BPD will have less vigor at their disposal.It’s an intensive program consisting of both group sessions for skills training and individual therapy with focus on validation and change of thought patterns.Treatment can only work when your partner a) Is ready for treatment – not to please you but because life has become unmanageable; b) Commits to a consistent 12-months treatment program consisting of individual and group therapy; c) Commits to working on homework assignments to transfer what she learns in therapy to real life; d) Agrees to life affirming actions in form of working on the difficulties rather than continuing down the path of self-destruction; Yes, you heard right – it’s not you who has to be ready – it’s her!

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The partner becomes the main outlet for her entertainment, self-respect, or self-loathing – an overwhelming job to handle! All beginnings are lovely – or so the sage proclaims. Two individuals come together – attraction, lust, love, personality styles, personal and family histories, attachment, and lifestyles collide – and there you are in the middle of a daring, challenging, and steamy relationship.If this ship becomes a timeless elegant regatta or a wrack is heavily determined by the personality styles of the involved partners’.They are very impulsive; volatile moods and angry outbursts are the norm; deficits in social perception and social skills become even more apparent when disappointments occur.Plus co-occurring disorders such as substance and eating disturbances, reckless spending and mood disorders add to the emotional burden.

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